Quiet Room, I Need You Now

now stream this.

2012-02-14T12:35:00.000-08:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/arts/music/the-indie-band-sleigh-bells-new-album-reign-of-terror.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&seid=auto&smid=tw-nytimes&adxnnlx=1329249848-k1Vsd/gVSrFrz85xS/7eJA

dear whitney.

2012-02-11T17:43:00.000-08:00

It's the light of day that shows me how

And when the night falls, loneliness calls.

Oh, I wanna dance with somebody!

you don't have to look me in the eye.

2012-02-06T11:00:00.001-08:00

born to lose

2011-12-19T11:35:00.001-08:00

it is the season, after all.

2011-11-17T00:38:00.000-08:00

Giving

I love giving blood.
Sometimes I walk in
Off the street
When no one has even asked
And roll up my sleeve

I love lying on the table
Watching my blood flow
Through the scarlet tube
To fill the little bag
That bears no Address

I love the mystery
Of its destination.
It runs easily
To child or woman or man
Black or white
Californian or Asian
Methodist, Mormon
Muslim or Jew.

Rain does too.
Rivers do.
I think God does.
We do not.

Our suspicious egos clot
On the journey from "Us" to "Them"

So I give blood
To practice Flowing
Never knowing
Where it's going
And glad.

Carol Lynn Pearson

this feeling and the darkness

2011-11-15T17:10:00.000-08:00

i only fell asleep for 30 minutes,
but suddenly it is dark.
and this has put me in an irreversible bad mood–
back to sleep?
NO!
force self
stay
awake
DO homework!

grrrrrr.

zrrrr.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

today i was a drowsy boy.

2011-10-28T12:15:00.001-07:00

i was feeling a bit drowsy so i decided to eat a whole bag of skittles.
when i opened it up i was surprised that over 2/3 of the bag was yellow.

2011-10-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

videos i would have seen before yesterday if i still had a facebook/
videos that kept me from getting my homework done in a timely manner last night/
videos that i like, but don't expect, nor care, if you watch.

this, too.

2011-10-03T22:47:00.001-07:00

¡CAN'T WAIT!

tonight, she grilled her foot.

2011-10-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

monday 3 october 2011: extra extra!

girl grills a steak in periodicals on a george foreman, steak sauce, audience cheers.

would you read it?

coming to a library near you.

2011-09-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

next week THE poet laureate of the United States of America is coming to BYU to do a reading and also offer insights about his poems.

W. S. Merwin

So while I was brushing up on my Merwin I came across a poem that broke my heart and opened the flood gates. That being said, I really enjoy this style of poetry; there is a rawness, and authenticity in the language--nothing seems forces or synthesized; it is all very real.

"Yesterday."

My friend says I was not a good son
you understand
I say yes I understand

he says I did not go
to see my parents very often you know
and I say yes I know

even when I was living in the same city he says
maybe I would go there once
a month or maybe even less
I say oh yes

he says the last time I went to see my father
I say the last time I saw my father

he says the last time I saw my father
he was asking me about my life
how I was making out and he
went into the next room
to get something to give me

oh I say
feeling again the cold
of my father's hand the last time
he says and my father turned
in the doorway and saw me
look at my wristwatch and he
said you know I would like you to stay
and talk with me

oh yes I say

but if you are busy he said
I don't want you to feel that you
have to
just because I'm here

I say nothing

he says my father
said maybe
you have important work you are doing
or maybe you should be seeing
somebody I don't want to keep you

I look out the window
my friend is older than I am
he says and I told my father it was so
and I got up and left him then
you know

though there was nowhere I had to go
and nothing I had to do

charges.

2011-09-26T16:55:00.001-07:00

Every day was the Bank of America.
Every day was the Publix on Biscayne Boulevard
With its rooftop parking lot.
Every day was the mail carrier
2:00 pm, 2:43, 4 o'clock.
And on Saturdays 10:00 am.
But this is about every day
And Bank of America and Biscayne Boulevard.
And how you are constantly trapped inside of the belly of a pink pig.
With its fleshy walls, alive and breathing
Somehow growing fatter and more gluttonous with each $20 withdrawl.

us people and them machines.

2011-09-23T17:02:00.000-07:00

us people.
and them machines.
both us people and them machines
are made from dust.

which gets me thinking
us people,
and them people,
we're really made up of the same stuff.

and there aren't too many things
that separate the them,
from the us-
cause in the end
we're all just dust.

CANT you?

2011-09-21T08:41:00.001-07:00

CANT - Answer (taken from Dreams Come True - Terrible Records / Warp Records) by Warp Records

in selections of threes.

2011-09-20T20:56:00.000-07:00

i'm reading Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson for one of my classes this semester. there are so many perfectly constructed sentences in this book here is a sampling. [for my own record, but if you read them all i'm sure you'll enjoy them.]

"Ascension seemed at such times a natural law. If one added to it a law of completion-that everything must finally be made comprehensible-then some general rescue of the sort I imagined my aunt to have undertaken would be inevitable. For why do our thoughts turn to some gesture of a hand, the fall of a sleeve, some corner of a room on a particular anonymous afternoon, even when we are asleep, and even when we are asleep, and even when we are so old that our thoughts have abandoned other business? What are all these fragments for if not to be knit up finally?"

"Lucille hated everything that had to do with transience. Once Sylvie came home with newspapers she collected at the train station. At dinner she told us she had had a very nice conversation with a lady who had ridden the rods from South Dakota, en route to Portland to see her cousin hanged.
Lucille put down her fork. 'Why do you get involved with such trashy people? It's embarrassing!'
Sylvie shrugged. 'I didn't get involved. She couldn't even come to supper.'
'You asked her?'
'She was worried that she'd miss her connection. They're always prompt about hanging people.' Lucille lay her head on her arms and said nothing. 'She's his only relative,' Sylvie explained, 'except for his father, and he's the one that was strangled . . . I thought it was kind of her to come.' There was a silence. 'I wouldn't say "trashy," Lucille. She didn't strangle anyone.'"

"But Sylvie had fallen silent again. Guessing that she must be listening to something, we were silent too. The lake still thundered and groaned, the flood waters still brimmed and shimmered. When we did not move or speak, there was no proof that we were there at all. The wind and the water brought sounds intact from any imaginable distance. Deprived of all perspective and horizon, I found myself reduced to an intuition, and my sister and my aunt to something less than that. I was afraid to put out my hand, for fear it would touch nothing, or to speak, for fear no one would answer. We all stood there silently for a long moment."

if that.

2011-09-16T09:13:00.001-07:00

and if that wasn't bad enough, i then tried to get in [the driver's side of] my car with my left leg first!

i am.

2011-09-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

ENFP

Extraverted 89
Intuitive 25
Feeling 12
Perceiving 11

what does this mean?

it's a party, it's a birthday party.... it's your birthday party -

2011-09-07T13:31:00.000-07:00

come one, come all.

to the american studies [nerd] brawl.

let's face it

2011-09-01T12:52:00.000-07:00

i've been looking for a(n) "homework" assignment like this for years.
i'm in charge of making a classic american (hairstyle)* playlist for a lively party.
whaaaaaat should i choose?
i already have some ideas, but i'm asking for suggestions.
i'll mail/deliver a copy of the playlist to whoever offers suggestions, on the condition that i use the song you suggest. so make them good.

love
b

*see video below

getting back to the point.

2011-09-01T08:37:00.000-07:00

BYU has the best old fashioned doughnuts.... chomp!

and speaking of doughnuts is that even how you spell donut?

where are you from?

2011-08-31T12:05:00.000-07:00

YOU

ARE

NEVER

ALIVE

THAN

WHEN

YOU

THINK

YOU

MAY

DYING

in&out.

2011-08-30T13:43:00.000-07:00

in fashion, one day you're in, and the next day you're out.

things that are in today:

1. sweating

2. pretending you don't know people that you actually know so that you don't seem "stalkerish"

3. having lunch with friends

4. "reading" the newspaper

5. green machines

2011-08-28T15:02:00.000-07:00

my three house plants made it safe.
finally this summer they are getting some heat!
and now it's my turn too.
our air conditioning, isn't cooperating---it doesn't even exist!
so the day will be spent lethargically laying around.
when it is too hot inside, i am reminded of wearing socks to bed
what a mistake.

how i feel about most things, but especially words

2011-08-25T08:14:00.000-07:00

I like collecting;

Especially words.

Because they can’t be taken away from you.

And they can’t be burnt

Nor get moldy.

The salt water of the ocean doesn’t make them crusty.

And for economy’s sake,

They are

The best.

and also adrienne, i found a trailer for the movie you were asking about.... looks interesting

do yourself 3 important favors

2011-08-24T15:36:00.000-07:00

1. savor and apply this advice from Zooey to Buddy Glass:

You'd better get busy, though, Buddy. The goddamn sands run out on you every time you turn around. I know what I know what I'm talking about. You're lucky if you get time to sneeze in this goddamn phenomenal world.

2. check out the continentals.

<a href="http://thecontinentals.bandcamp.com/album/in-a-circle-with-our-closest-friends">In a Circle with Our Closest Friends by The Continentals</a>

3. mark your calendars for the season four premier and return of my favorite Leslie Knope-- 22 September 2011

Leslie: "There are very few things I have asked for in this world. To build a new park from scratch, to eventually become president and to one day solve a murder on a train."

and speaking of Leslie Knope there is a new waffle house opening in provo: the awful waffle. i can't wait to get my hands on one.

as i pack and ship

2011-08-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

today i was noticing my mailbox in my email account.
i have 3535 emails archived and stored.
most of them are really good too--so thanks people who write me.

the next hours are going to be spent.
i have all the packing and clothes folding to do.
everything takes a whole lifetime, but especially packing.

this summer i had four plants living with me.
three of them have made it alive the whole summer.
i can't wait to see how they do in the car ride back to The Great Salt Lake.

i'm not sure if this post is me committing to a full-return to quiet room,
some days i miss it--but then those days i have nothing to say when i get there
so that is why we're left with no postings during the last 6 months.

welcome back
welcome back
welcome back.

as the days fade away.

2011-02-16T23:37:00.000-08:00

14. feb.
lesson learned: optimism passes time quickly.

15. feb.
friends invite you to their birthdays.

16. feb.
too many changes, in the weather.

new week.

2011-02-14T07:19:00.000-08:00

11. feb.
cousin walk, best day ended shouting

12. feb.
cure cabin fever, go classic skate

13. feb.
creative droughts, stolen cookie. Gatsby & Ellington.

three more days.

2011-02-11T12:54:00.000-08:00

8. feb.
old fashioned waiting for letter, Glee.

9. feb.
cacao; auto-american-biography; improving habits

10. feb.
spagh-mare; routine; restraint; tear entre nos

three day series/eighteen words

2011-02-07T23:39:00.000-08:00

5.feb.

reunion brunch jazz roots; complicated mind.

6.feb.

sleep all day; soup, secret sharing.

7.feb.

excessive chips/salsa; body needs fixing.

lately.

2011-02-05T21:36:00.000-08:00

i've been debating deleting each post,
and slowly destroying this blog,
i'm sort of tired of having an internet presence
that in the end is pretty meaningless.
but, i have decided not to, for now.

i am going to try something new though.
it is called daily autobiographies.
the only rule i'm establishing/enforcing is a six-word limit.
all grammatical rules [which i deeply cherish] do not apply.
i hope this will reveal something about myself to myself.
here's for self discovery: and to a good year.

2011 - pushing it just a little too far/no regrets/[a personal slogan i'm not going to write here]

if you call.

2011-01-31T20:43:00.000-08:00

phone call philosophy

call me:
if i don't have your number i will not answer.
if you don't leave a message there is 0% chance that i will call you back.
if you do leave a message there is a 50% chance that i will call back.
if i do have your number - don't worry, i'll answer.
but, if i don't, i will call you back when i can.

now.

2011-01-21T15:00:00.000-08:00

dear self,

don't wait! begin doing what you want to do now; we are not living in eternity, yet.

b

2010-12-24T22:07:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas.
More posts next year.
I'm having a wonderful time at home.

finally done.

2010-12-16T16:06:00.000-08:00

and so now i can move on to more important [wild] things like deciding what i am going to do over christmas break [dancing.] i think i will be reading a book that k sent me this summer, but i never got started. then i will move to a book that w suggested to me. i also think that i will go see a few movies: the voyage of the dawn treader, true grit, and hopefully the kings court.

this has been my best semester academically speaking. i finally had a schedule where every class i took was interesting and contributing to my major. next semester should prove to be just as rigorous and completely engaging.

i have so much to do before i run away from these snow capped sidewalks that i really hate/love. can't wait for all that is christmas to happen.

shocking, embarrassing.

2010-12-08T11:51:00.000-08:00

it doesn't even look that comfortable.

i call it:

the study straddle.

the desperation of finals.

2010-12-02T14:52:00.000-08:00

due to the apparent inconvenience of eating like a regular human, the boy studying across from me in my secret study place in the library just took a bite out of a raw potato - like an apple.

and now for some qualifying & descriptive statements about said boy.

1. he is wearing glasses that have thicker glass than the tank they used to keep free willy on display
2. his t-shirt was probably from a cheesy giftshop/boutique reading: ALASKA!
3. even with those glasses on he sits 3 inches away from his computer monitor to read it.
4. he keeps tilting his head to the left, then to the right, over and over and over right in front of the computer monitor.
5. he actually looks about 28-34, so he is definitely not a boy anymore.
6. his backpack is over flowing with wrinkled papers and empty vending machine snack bags/bottles.
7. there are two empty plastic grocery bags on his desk.
8. he just pulled out a small toiletries bag from his laptop messenger-style bag.
9. inside the toiletries bag were a can of chicken soup and shaving cream [in the old style canisters.]
10. watching him is way more entertaining that writing papers.

how does it feel?

2010-11-28T19:18:00.000-08:00

this fall i had a moustache.

recently i shaved it gone.

since then i have had a few conversations about it.

they all sound like this:

me: hi

them: hi

me: so....

them: oh, you shaved your moustache off.

me: yup.

them: how does it feel?

me: [i don't usually have an answer - because that question is unanswerable.]

and you know, since then i have thought about this conversation and basically people asking about how i feel about my moustache is like this: you just turned 17 and your grandmother says, "how does it feel to be 17?" and in your mind you think, "what? i feel the same as yesterday." and that is how i feel about shaving my moustache. i feel the same about having it as i do about not having it.

board games.

2010-11-24T16:13:00.000-08:00

i am grateful for board & card games.
i especially love them in the winter time.
[i love puzzles too.]

scrabble
monopoly
rook
clue
rummikub
monopoly
risk
yahtzee
the game of life
the AMAZing labyrinth
scattergories
guess who
pay day
13 dead end drive

film.

2010-11-23T18:19:00.000-08:00

i am thankful for film and cinema and movies and whatever else they are called.
film brings so much joy to me and everyone and film is the best thing ever*.

on an unrelated note, i just saw HP7 part I.
loved it.
can't wait for part II.

*too many things qualify as the best thing ever to have just one.

aeropuertos.

2010-11-22T22:38:00.000-08:00

i am grateful for air travel.
today our flight was [slightly] delayed, but we made it.
back home.
finally - only a few days, but they are badly needed.

this was my playlist for the planeride* it was perfect.

Lisztomania : Phoenix

Say It's Empathy (Crystal Castles + Rihanna + Lupe Fiasco + Terra Naomi) : Mochi Beats

Don't Let Me Fall : B.O.B.

Faded High : Gayngs

Rushing : Geographer

Sleep Tight : Rollerskaters

South Dakota : Magic man

Everybody Knows : Kids Of 88

The Watch : Sing Leaf

Rude Boy : Rihanna

Juicy-r : The Notorious B.I.G. vs The XX

Club Can't Handle Me : Flo Rida

Vesuvius : Sufjan Stevens

Lump Sum : Bon Iver

The Show Goes On : Lupe Fiasco

We R Who We R : Ke$ha

San Fran : Kids of 88

Swamp Thing : Sun Hotel

Impossible Soul : Sufjan Stevens

*I don't believe in turning all of my electronics off during the whole flight - batteries don't send electrical signals that will interfere with the plane [i don't think they send any waves.]

logic puzzles.

2010-11-21T19:28:00.000-08:00

i am thankful for logic puzzles.
they are so much fun - and really useful [source of entertainment.]
this website has a lot of them.

in other news she brought this web comic to my attention
and it also reminds me of this post i made - a while back.

freezing leaves.

2010-11-20T13:20:00.000-08:00

today i'm thankful for all of the autumn colors and leaves. they really are beautiful and on my walk to the library this morning they were particularly beautiful. it reminded me that earlier this week i was grateful for the leaves, only it was on the morning that everything was covered in frost.

i had gone for a run that morning and everything was brisk and crispy - including me. and there was this certain corner patch of grass at an intersection i was crossing that hadn't yet been hit by the rising sun. so each leaf as it sat and waited still had the edges covered in frost - it was wonderful. as i kept running i thought of this part of fantasia [start at 2:59] when the pixies turn everything into winter and frost.

creature fear.

2010-11-19T13:42:00.000-08:00

i am grateful for slightly bigger, but nice creatures who eat slightly smaller, but mean creatures.

spiders.
fish.
owls.
cats.
dogs.
mice.
hawks.
other birds of prey.
eagles.
bats.
etc.

technology/inventors/modern conveniences.

2010-11-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

cellular telephones, text messaging, internet, gasoline powered cars, centralized heating, lights, television, elevators, ovens, refrigeration, water heaters, washer & dryers, zippers, tape, paper clips, straws, flashlights, markers, pens, indoor plumbing, etc. all these things make my life easier. and i am thankful for them.

the seas.

2010-11-17T14:22:00.000-08:00

i read w's blog today and realized that somehow i have skipped my gratitude for water. drinking water, pool water, river water, ocean water, tears, lakes, streams, rain, fog, showers, thunderstorm water, etc. i often wonder if i was born a fish would i love water more than i love it now? for it almost seems as important for my mental/physical/spiritual/etc. health to be with the water as it would if i were a fish. i have always felt a connection with the ocean. i think most humans feel this - thus the quantity of oceanic literature, painting, photography, music, etc. i just love water so much and i am grateful for it always, but sometimes being in the desert [as w pointed out] dries you out and you forget, but the second i smell her sweet scent - i remember forever.

p.s. thanks kjr for always letting me steal your photographs and put them on here. you know i think they're the best.

thankful for.

2010-11-16T15:48:00.001-08:00

i'm thankful for my imagination.

[related to yesterday's, but also very different.]

senses.

2010-11-15T16:42:00.000-08:00

i am thankful for all of my senses
that i was born with on account of me being human.
and all the others that i have on account of me being a poet-human.

a body that works.

2010-11-14T19:58:00.000-08:00

i am grateful that i can move because i love to dance.

cleaning.

2010-11-13T16:34:00.000-08:00

i'm thankful for having a a clean, dry, warm, comfortable place to live - and that i always have, my whole life.

them.

2010-11-12T20:02:00.000-08:00

i'm thankful for them and also can't wait to go home in 10 days.

work.

2010-11-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

i'm grateful to have a [small] job that i like.
and that [most] of the people i work with are agreeable.

creations.

2010-11-10T12:20:00.001-08:00

today i'm grateful for cows.
i love milk.
i love ice cream.
i love cheese.
i love sour cream [that comes from cows right?]
i love chocolate milk.
and
i love beef.

american studies.

2010-11-09T10:11:00.000-08:00

i am grateful to be at the point of my education, where despite having harder classes, they are interesting and engaging [most of the time.] i love all of my classes this semester and am having a wonderful time. i am grateful for that - because school can be miserable if you hate your class/professor. i have the best major.

this semester:
studies in the american experience
american literary modernism & archipelagos
great films
american humanities: colonial - 1887
asian american literature

next semester:
the american south
american humanities: 1888 - present
american christianity
american literary history
atomic america
words of isaiah

rain.

2010-11-08T22:29:00.000-08:00

i'm grateful for rain.
because it makes things beautiful.
it makes me feel cozy and nostalgic.
walking in the rain makes music sound better.
the freshly fallen leaves are shiny and everything.
being indoors is wonderful
and being out of doors is wonderful
in the rain.

burritos.

2010-11-07T19:38:00.000-08:00

i am grateful for burritos.

in this order:
1. chipotle
2. betos
3. rancheritos
4. diegos
5. la presa/los hermanos/el toro
6. grilled stuft [taco bell]
7. cafe rio/bajio/taco del mar

you and your cousins.

2010-11-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

today i'm grateful for having cousins that i not only like and get along with, but am friends with. it is so fun to have them living close & visiting often. we have the best times. and we all love the same things: eating, eating treats, snacking, and tasting cupcakes/cookies/etc.

quotations.

2010-11-05T14:26:00.000-07:00

i love quotations. one of the things on my christmas list[s] for the past few years have always included books of quotations. last year by far was the best one though, it is a book of quotations organized alphabetically by subject, and/or "author." [it is called a quotationary.]

i love quotes because they force you to think deeply, and slowly; they require you to read them over and over again. and, each time i understand them more and more [like the scriptures.]

these three quotes below have changed me and i will always love them because of how they encourage thinking about the world around you and experiencing it - really sucking the marrow out of life [as Thoreau explained it.]

"I walk in a state of raw awareness that seems to transform the whole world of my being into one big eyeball rolling in the world's socket." - Vladimir Nabokov

"I wonder if anyone else has an ear so tuned and sharpened as I have, to detect the music, not of the spheres, but of earth, subtleties of major and minor chord that the wind strikes upon the tree branches. Have you ever heard the earth breathe....?" - Kate Chopin

"Our creator would never have made such lovely days and have given us the deep hearts to enjoy them, above and beyond all thought, unless we were meant to be immortal." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

new[ish] music.

2010-11-04T20:47:00.000-07:00

i'm grateful for new music - these in particular, as of recently.

SUN HOTEL - "Swamp Thing"

SUFJAN STEVENS - "Vesuvius"

reasons i am grateful for new music:
one - i usually need something new to walk to school with.
two - as i am changing so are my tastes slowly changing to; its fun to have new music that reflects current moods/thoughts/worries/etc.
three - new music is like making new friends.

i know most of us [bloggers] don't actually watch videos when people post them, and i don't really care if you view these or not, but i just like them and besides mostly i blog for myself.

projects.

2010-11-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

cutting and pasting.
poster boards and charts and pictures.
i especially like collages.

wikipedia.

2010-11-02T12:33:00.001-07:00

i am grateful for wikipedia.

[and also, i am grateful for the office.]

reading out loud.

2010-11-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

my friend whitney told me about this thing where every day in november you post something you are grateful for. here is mine: day one. i'm also trying to think outside the box, rather than just say i'm grateful for parents, or books - i want to be more specific than that.

i'm grateful that my parents read me such wonderful books when i was young.

plus so many more,
and they were read again and again and again.
[also my mother read the first 4 harry potter books out loud to us, by the time the 5th, 6th and 7th were out we couldn't hardly wait to just start them on our own, but i did love her reading those first ones aloud.]

2010-10-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN YOU GROUCHES!

cheeks and chins.

2010-10-28T15:37:00.000-07:00

carter greta barret lucy hunter

hearing things.

2010-10-27T08:29:00.000-07:00

this morning in my 8:00 am English class i kept hearing music - really really faintly. i wasn't sure if i was really hearing anything, and no one else in the class seemed to notice anything. i couldn't make out what songs i was hearing, but it was throughout the whole class, especially when no one was talking. so class is over i'm walking down the hall and pull out my iPod - it had been on the whole class. so the whole time i'm thinking that someone in my class is listening to music quietly/sneakily, but it wasn't them: it was me!

three cousins.

2010-10-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

i wish i had this shirt still.

also - why didn't i get ice cream?

and wow, check out that dalmatian doing the splits.

testing.byu.edu

2010-10-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

whenever i have to take a test in the testing center [which is not often because for most of my classes the tests are in-class essay type] i always check the "line conditions" first. and it always puzzles me why, of all the places in the whole university, people choose to study literally 20 feet away from the entrance of the testing hall. that can't be stress-reducing; in fact i'm sure that it is stress-inducing. whenever i go to take a test i walk right in and take it. [i never wait in line because i always check to see the "current conditions."] i do not pass go, i do not collect $200. and on that note, off i go to the testing center.

lazy [perfect] sunday.

2010-10-25T00:57:00.001-07:00

this is fun.

2010-10-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

this is just one more reason why i love performing arts classes and i'm so glad they are taught in public schools.

AND THIS:

we love you michael.

a bad/good idea

2010-10-21T23:15:00.000-07:00

i ate/chewed my height in bubble gum.

it was so gross.

never try this.

although it was funny & awesome.

glances and gazing.

2010-10-20T17:53:00.000-07:00

"Someone's gaze on us can change our day or our life. In a fragment of a second, we can decide whether this gaze is hostile or friendly, awkward or pleasing or decisive? But what if the gaze lasts for more than a few seconds? What if we cannot escape it? Or, after a while, if we want it forever?"

On my walk to school today - this exact thought crossed my mind. I wondered about the lingering glance - the extended gaze. And constant with the rest of my life experiences, this thought came up again later, only this time it was manifest by someone else's thought on the same topic as expressed in this film.

a decision has been made.

2010-10-20T13:20:00.000-07:00

colonel mustard in the billiard room with the lead pipe.

i have a halloween costume!

two unrelated confessions.

2010-10-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

1. i love BYU mint brownies, no walnuts please.

2. when people write me emails or spell my name on... anything and they spell it: "Barrett" i always make it a point to spell their name in the reply, or response, etc. with the last letter twice. for example:

annalisee

also: i had a series of emails with a former apartment management while i was selling a contract.

the girl corresponding with me addressed her email to barret.

so i replied with the normal spelling of her name, erin.

the next email she wrote to, "barrett". so i replied to "erinn"

then she replied again, but this time i was, "barrettt"

she had caught on, i thought that was funny.

i could keep looking to find a few other times when this has happened, but i think i've proved the point.

you can have dreams and eat them too.

2010-10-18T16:04:00.000-07:00

this morning in my semi-consciousness: the time between turning off my phone alarm and getting off my bed, i invented a medical condition, gave it a name, and diagnosed myself with it.

out•fit•ters-di•sease | ˈaʊtfɪtə | dɪˈziːz |
outfitters disease is the physical incapacity to get out of bed in the morning without being sure about what to wear for the day. research is still being done and the results may vary, but as of now patients diagnosed with this disease are unlikely to recover quickly without severe therapy and/or counseling. those afflicted have been known to lie in bed all day trying to make up their minds.

obviously this disease isn't real, but for some reason my brain invented it this morning. i also invented some other disease that i might have, but i can't remember the name i just know it had something to do with alarm clocks. all of my good ideas come to me in the semi-consciousness state of morning.

in other news: i am having a wonderful day and my homework isn't too overbearing this week.

favourite walking to school song.

2010-10-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

epic morning walks to campus to this song.
the video isn't all that high quality, but the live recording is so amazing.

Amreeka.

2010-10-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

i really loved this film, but it did make my heart ache - so badly. mostly because of all the people i know and love who are also barely hanging on. the united states can be brutal to immigrants. don't get me wrong, at the same time i really believe that this is a land of opportunity - that may seem idealistic of me, but what is wrong with that?

blog-worthy learning.

2010-10-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

"Two motives urge middle-class and their proletarian fans to obsession with their sports. One is their need, as losers, to identify with winners, the need to dance and scream "We're number one!" while holding an index finger erect. One hockey player says: "The whole object of a pro game is to win. That is what we sell. We sell it to a whole lot of people who don't win at all in their regular lives; so they involve themselves with their team, a winning team."

- a quote from Paul Fussell's: Class, 1983.

more costume ideas.

2010-10-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

CHECK THIS OUT!

brain storms.

2010-10-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

i need ideas for a halloween costume.

in my attempts at brainstorming i came across these great ideas.

if you're looking to dress up your "child"

you should check these out at american apparel.

girl at work says i should be mario -

i always laugh pretending i think that's a good idea,

even though i don't.

but most importantly is we have to dress up for work this year,

so my costume needs to be great.

remember last year's?

basic spaces.

2010-10-14T12:05:00.000-07:00

why i like utah.

for more of the finest photography ever, check here.

battle of the bulge.

2010-10-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

i hate "pregnancy" photographs.

that is i just think people should take them [if they want] but keep them to themselves.

but i love this one.

CLASSIC!

a confession & a question.

2010-10-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

when i check blogger i read all of the new posts for the blogs that i follow, every word.

but i read them in order of "least interesting" to "most interesting" based on their titles.

sometimes i end with my own posts.

is that conceited?

four clarifications.

2010-10-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

1. it's browned butter, not burnt butter.
2. it's [miz-ih-thra] mizithra, not [miss-thrah]
3. it's cheese made from ewe milk, not cow or goat milk.
4. it's greek, not italian.

library.

2010-10-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

i misplaced my student id card so now i can't check books out from the library. apparently my government issued driver's license, which gets me through airport security, isn't enough proof of my identity for these losers. well, i don't want your books anyway [actually i do, i just have found that if you tell yourself something enough, eventually you can believe it is true - for better or worser.]

favourite things: barret edition.

2010-10-10T22:30:00.000-07:00

raspberry jam.

translate.google.com

state quarters - especially Connecticut & Wyoming

preparing for winter [preparing for hibernation.]

collecting security envelopes.

repurposing.

minty toothpaste & minty gum.

spumoni.

indoor herb gardens.

the week in numbers:

2010-10-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

pages read: 693

blog posts written: 8 [9 including this one.]

hours waiting tables: 5.25

betos burritos consumed: 3

trips to the cocoabean: 2

episodes of 30 Rock: 4

times i watched this video: 20+ [including just a few minutes ago.]

postcards written & sent: 4

dance parties: 3

broken bones: 0

loads of laundry: 2

2010-10-08T23:39:00.001-07:00

I'm reposting this because I've made some changes since I posted it last night.

I like it better this way.

Dearest Life,

As I part with my body electric,

My day and my night have come to rest.

I worry about the children -

Mine own.

Nothing is missing in the sky,

Forget the changing of the times.

For at once I began to move across the lonesome valley

And the swifter pace I choose.

Because the devil feasts on the bodies of the still.

And the mindless.

He is the raging enemy.

And this text,

Is just text - but more

Like the body of a woman in love.

Do I suppose to hold the answer for the mouth of humanity?

No, perhaps not, but I have

Been eating with mine own body: the sweetest bit of earth.

I am born of a curious flesh;

I played with fire - and was burnt.

And the hill-sized wounds make

Scars and deeper scars.

I will be healed yet -

My tears dried, my stains scoured;

My sword will be made brighter still.

And all the changes of perspective

Are built in the poet's mind which,

Being not perfect has completed construction.

And my own deterioration,

At last.

But He is not a creation of the poet,

Rather the poet of He.

Even and always,

Time and Space.

- October 2010, Barret

working for the weekend.

2010-10-08T14:53:00.000-07:00

getting ready for this by watching this:

in other news, i'm trying to learn this:

it's going mediumish.

thanks to wsb for showing me this video.

school is for nerds.

2010-10-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

i should be reading this book right now, but instead i'm eating.

and before i was eating i watched the office & 30 rock.

then i have some church stuff to do.

and after that i am going to a spy-themed dance party.

life as a college student is so hard.

don't worry mom, i'll get to the book.

minty toothpaste.

2010-10-06T18:46:00.000-07:00

kid,

i wish i could put you in a bottle,

so i could remember the things you say,

the expression on your face when you are being funny,

your sincerity

the easiness, the comfortableness, the naturalness

that i feel when i talk to you.

kid,

you sparkle.

and if i had you in a bottle,

on days when i stop believing that people like you exist,

and even worse on days when i'm so far removed from being with people like you that i've forgotten what sparkling even is,

then i can pull you out,

sit with you for an hour,

and be on my way to find my own sparkling someone.

cold showers will make you sick.

2010-10-05T15:31:00.000-07:00

i don't take hot hot showers, but i do take warmish-warmish showers. [i don't like the bathroom getting steamy.] but in the past week when i have gotten in the shower it is the perfect temperature, and suddenly it is ice. somehow the snow queen breathes into our water pipes and all the hot water and warmth and happiness in the world is gone. then yesterday i realized why this has been happening: i have been turning the dishwasher on just before i get in the shower - somehow they can't function simultaneously.

in other news: can anyone explain to me the science behind peanut butter being the solution to getting gum out of your hair?

also - is there chocolate flavored gum? or peanut butter? [i think they would both be awful, but i am curious if anyone knows about them... i would be interested in trying them out.]

the news from your bed.

2010-10-05T09:24:00.000-07:00

this morning there was snow on mount timpanogos; it may still be there, but i am too afraid to look.

earth is hard because there are many good things that are also bad for you: this morning it was captain crunch - so delicious, but they cut the roof of your mouth up. it is like eating shards of glass.

in other news, this video:

chewing gum ii.

2010-10-04T11:10:00.000-07:00

i wrote this about ten months ago, but i never posted it - just remembered it this morning.

"why did i think it would be possible to chew gum while i was brushing my teeth?"

hark, all ye nations.

2010-10-03T15:28:00.000-07:00

when i was in the MTC, my district sang this hymn at least once per day.
it is one of my favourites.
last night, during the priesthood session of conference, a choir from the Provo MTC sang it.
this isn't a perfect video, but i can feel them singing with so much testimony.

"searching in darkness, nations have wept;
watching for dawn their vigil they've kept.
all now rejoice; the long night is o'er.
truth is restored once more!"

if you call.

2010-10-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

something about this lady.

classic.

2010-10-01T08:37:00.000-07:00

have you ever finished typing your comment on a post and then you realize you're not really sure how to end it because you don't really know what you are talking about? well, the perfect solution is just write: classic. if you want to spice it up write it this way: classic! it makes you sound like an expert on pretty much whatever you are talking about - even if, and especially when you have no idea. everyone will think you're funny and smart and beautiful [especially those people who know even less about whatever it is you are pretending to know something about] and you won't have to worry about embarrassing yourself by writing something like "LOL!"

classic!
[who doesn't want to be that?]

save student buss passes.

2010-09-30T11:20:00.000-07:00

dear everyone who reads this,

i am posting this because like most americans i love joining/supporting causes. here are the facts:

right now a student buss pass is $100 per year.
next year it will cost $693 per year! [because the BYU administration is pulling out their subsidizing funds.]

sign the petition HERE!

thanks,

a loving american/human.

"guess what i do for adventure!"

2010-09-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

theme for this week.

2010-09-29T10:59:00.001-07:00

and the winner, isn't you. sorry.

2010-09-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

this video is a little long, but oh-so-worth it.

it is awkward, but so funny - in a sad way.